Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
Dr Seuss has it right…….
For ages I’ve been feeling that today is my day – I’ve been energetic, positive, creative and clear about my focus and my purpose.
I do have brains in my head.
I do have feet in my shoes.
And I should be able to steer myself
any direction I choose.
Wherever I fly,
I’ll be best of the best.
Wherever I go,
I will top all the rest.
Except when I don’t.
Because sometimes I won’t.
Sometimes I feel as though my head is just a muddled space, filled with fog. Sometimes I can’t even get out of bed, let alone put my feet in my shoes and as for steering, well there’s not much chance of that today!
For the last few days, the mind monsters have been saying…..
- Who the hell do you think you are?
- Why would anyone listen to you?
- You’ve got your own mental illness, so why do you think you can help
others when you can’t get your own shit together?
- They’re all going to find out you’re a fraud!!
- Stop pretending to know anything about anything.
- You can’t run a business, you’re just a big, fat failure!
Why is it that these insidious little mind monsters show up when we’re least expecting it? And why is it that we let them in, when we know they are not here to help?
Or perhaps these critters are just trying to keep us safe? Safe from failure, safe from ridicule, safe from unknown dangers……… such as happiness, love or success?
If, in the past, we have experienced rejection, failure, harm, embarrassment, fear, or any number of feelings that we might want to avoid experiencing again, then our mind monsters are maybe stepping in to protect us from that. But is that really what’s happening?
I know that for me, this voice (which can also be referred to as the inner critic, limiting beliefs, mind monkeys, the Judge, or any number of other names) is vile and hateful, telling me all the things I can’t do and pointing out that I’m destined for disaster if I continue. So whilst this voice may come from deep within, from a past time or event when I felt worthless and alone and I created it subconsciously to protect myself – today it is destructive, frustrating and potentially life-destroying.
Why is it that all the people we know, love and trust, whose opinions we value, can believe that we are superheroes, leaping buildings in a single bound with our undies over our pants (or is that just me?) and blasting obstacles out of our path to success and yet, we can allow this voice in our head to block out all the good things we’ve done and achieved? As Julia Roberts so rightfully says in Pretty Woman, “the bad stuff is easier to believe”. Ain’t that the truth?
So, when I’m in a Slump,
and I’m not in for much fun.
As un-Slumping myself
is not easily done…..
What do I do?
The truth is, I’m not sure….
I’m not sure because I don’t know if it’s part of the natural cycle of my bipolar disorder, or if everyone on the planet suffers from it to a lesser or greater degree. I’m not sure, because I don’t know in my heart right now if the voice is speaking the truth and I’m just kidding myself that I can be someone who makes a difference. I don’t know, because mental illness is a life-sucking parasite that feeds on my confidence, my strength, my self-worth and my ability to think clearly.
But I shall soldier on, I shall be gentle with myself and tomorrow the sun will rise and hopefully I’ll be back out of my slump. I shall then continue on with passion and purpose, with my undies over my pants and hitched up to my armpits.
So I have to remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
And I’ll try to be dexterous
And I’ll try to be deft.
And never mix up my right foot with my left.
And will I succeed?
Yes, I will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ per cent guaranteed.)
AND HOPEFULLY, I’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
*words adapted from the fabulous “Oh, the places you’ll go!” by Dr Seuss.*